The Lonely Light of Morning
by My one true love
Summary: Brooke centric with some Brucas. Future oneshot. My idea of where to start season 5. Brooke's life has spiraled out of control and she reaches out to Lucas.


_Hello all. This one is a bit sad, but I happen to like it. I think that it may have been for a challenge. Not really sure. It's another that I wrote a while ago. _

**The Lonely Light of Morning**

By Miranda

She sat there staring at the wall, waiting for the high to spill over her. She untied the rubber that was tied around her arm with a sigh before pulling the needle out of her arm. It would only be a minute and then she would be in her happy place. She would be able to escape the hell that was her life. No more pain to be endured. Nothing but the bliss that the drugs brought to her.

Her head fell back and her limbs grew numb. Numb. That's how she liked to live her life now. Anything was better than the pain that ransacked her body when she didn't numb it with the drugs. The drugs made her able to deal with what her life had become which was a mess.

Brooke closed her eyes as the mistakes and the pain of the last five years washed over her, threatening to ruin the high. Clothes Over Bros bombing in her freshman year of college caused by the media getting ahold of the news that she had cheated to graduate high school and then had aborted a child that was caused by the one time she and Chase had slept together. After that night there had been a week of constant phone calls before trickling down to once a week. And then there had been nothing else until Brooke realized that she was pregnant. That news was the beginning of the end.

When she told Chase or at least told his voicemail since he refused to answer his phone, something inside of her broke. The decision to have the abortion was hard, but really there was no other choice in her eyes. She kept it quiet, telling no but Peyton and yet somehow the media got ahold of it. And Victoria Secret pulled her line even before the news of the cheating came out. She was the joke at her school. Everyone loved her designs, but scandal seemed to follow her. No one wanted to pick up a line by someone with so much bad publicity.

She dropped out of school and returned to California, living off of her parents and becoming the society girl once again. She was the perfect girl for all of the pictures and the parties, but behind the scenes she was falling apart. All she did was drink. She'd wake up and drink. She'd eat and then drink. It was a long, endless cycle of her being drunk the entire time that she was awake.

The drinking led to her being depressed which led to her losing her friends. Before she knew it she'd alienated everyone that she knew and she was her mother. The one thing that she dreaded and she'd become it. As a last ditch effort she decided that she would rebel. That would make her different from her mother.

She became the anti-Brooke Davis. She stopped caring about fashion, turning to the Goth look. Her makeup became darker and she owned nothing that wasn't black or a deep, dark color. It was a good look for her and drew even more attention to her. She started heroin because of a guy that she moved in with. She'd known him for all five minutes when she went home with him for the night and just never left.

"Arg!" She threw the needle across the room, anger flowing through her. The drugs were supposed to take away the pain and the memories. She hated remembering. She wasn't supposed to remember. She could feel the high ebbing at the edges of her anger, but it wouldn't be able to breach it. She picked up the thing closest thing at hand, which turned out to be the television remote. She threw it against the mirror that hung on the wall, the mirror shattering into pieces. As the pieces rained down she felt some pierce her skin and she looked down surprised.

Detached she watched as blood began to run from some of the cuts. Blindly she reached down, grabbing a larger chunk of glass. She almost dropped it when the jagged edges cut into her fingers. She closed her eyes as she lifted it to her wrist, digging the sharp edge into her wrist.

She cried out at the pain, but was thankful that thoughts of the past have fled from her mind. She opened her and watched as she drug the shard further along her wrist. It was just a small cut, one that hurt a lot but didn't really bleed. She sighed as she dug it in deeper, releasing in the pain. It was like a new, different kind of high. She looked up at the ceiling, focusing on the pain that she was causing to herself.

Her head jerked down as she felt the blood pour over her hand. She watched in horror as the blood spilled down her wrist, over her hand and onto the floor. She threw the shard to the floor, looking around wildly. For what she didn't know, but there had to be something that could fix this.

Tears were streaming down her face as she struggled to the bathroom, grabbing a towel from the floor. She wrapped it tightly around her wrist in the hopes that it would stanch the bleeding, but as she watched it bled through.

She felt sick as she grasped at the sink. What was she supposed to do now? She did the only thing that she could think of. She grabbed the phone and dialed a number that she knew was still the same because she would often call and hang up.

"Hello?" The voice was thick with sleep.

"Luke?" Brooke sobbed into the phone.

"Who is this?" There was a pause. "Brooke?"

"Luke. I need you. I did something stupid." She took a deep breathe, trying to calm down. The sobs shook her body as she lay down on the floor.

"Okay, Brooke. Where are you? Are you in Tree Hill?"

Brooke nodded before remembering that he couldn't see her. "Yes...I came back...a few months ago..." She was beginning to feel light headed. She didn't know if it was from the loss of blood or from the sight of the blood, but she knew that she wasn't going to be able to stay conscious much longer. "Luke, I'm sorry. I didn't have anyone else to call. No one else is talking to me anymore." She curled herself up into a ball.

"That's not important right now Brooke." His voice was stern as she asked her where she was. "I need an address, directions...anything Brooke. Please."

Brooke quickly spit out the address as she felt her head lull back. "Hurry Luke. Please..." The phone dropped from her hand as the world turned black.

She awoke with a start, Lucas's face looming over her. "Brooke? Are you awake?" The fear was apparent in his eyes as his hand took her's.

Brooke swallowed hard, her throat feeling very dry. "I - where am I?" She croaked out the question before clearing her throat.

"The hospital Brooke. Do you remember what happened?"

Brooke closed her eyes and the memories came flooding back. The high that wouldn't come because of the anger. The pain that she caused because of the anger. The fear as she watched herself bleed. And the desperation and anxiety in calling Lucas because she knew that he would help. Slowly she nodded before opening her eyes. "Yes..."

"You're going to have to go to rehab Brooke." Lucas looked sad as he squeezed her hand.

"Why would I have to go to rehab? Since when do you have to go to rehab because you tried to kill yourself?"

Lucas shook his head. "For the heroin."

"What heroin?"

Lucas shook his head, his eyes flashing with anger as he jerked her arm down and pointed to the marks left by the needles. "That heroin. Do you think that I'm stupid Brooke? I walked into that apartment. I saw what it is you've been doing with your life. I won't stand by and let you ruin it."

Brooke tilted her head, her own anger flaring again. "Who says that you have to watch? And who says you have any say in what I do with my life?"

"You did. The minute you called me you gave me permission to save you." The anger was suddenly gone as his eyes filled with tears. "I thought you were dead when I walked in there Brooke. What happened to you? What happened to my Cheery?"

Brooke turned her head away, unable to watch him. "She died a long time ago Lucas. She couldn't survive life."

"I don't believe that." He put his hand on the side of her face and forced her to look at him. "She could survive anything."

"Why do you care Lucas? The only reason I called you is because no one else will speak with me anymore. I've burned too many bridges. You're the only one who I knew wouldn't hold it all against me."

"I don't believe that either. Why are you lying to me Brooke?"

"I'm not lying and you're avoiding my question."

Lucas shook his head. "I care because I love you Brooke. I always have and always will. You were my first love, the one that I thought I would spend forever with."

Brooke gave a small laugh. "That you thought you would spend forever with?" She closed her eyes as the tears began to fill her eyes.

Lucas brought her hand to his lips. "What do you want me to say? That we'll spend forever together? Brooke you're a mess." He shook his head. "We're not going to have this conversation right now." He stood up, taking a deep breath. "I'm going to talk to the doctor. I need to find out when you're going to be released so that we can get you to rehab." He tilted his head to the side, giving her a small smile. "I want to see you better." He gave her a kiss on the forehead before turning and heading out of the door, leaving her alone with her thoughts.

She turned on her side, wondering once again how she had gotten here. Only five years had passed and look at where she was. And she hadn't even asked once how he was or what he had done. What kind of person had she become? She felt her chest contract and the tears began to pour from her eyes.

"You ready to go?"

Brooke looked up to find Lucas standing in her doorway. "Not really." She wrapped her arms around herself, trying to make herself warm. It had been twelve hours since her last high. The withdrawal symptoms had gotten progressively worst over the last few hours. She couldn't stop shaking and she couldn't get warm, no matter how many layers she put on. She wasn't able to keep any food down and she needed another high. She felt like she wasn't going to make it another second if she didn't get that high.

"Honey we need to get you to the rehab center so that you can get better. Look at yourself Brooke. You're falling apart."

Brooke hung her head as she struggled to stand. "Fine. Come help me. I can't do this on my own."

Lucas walked over to her, giving her a smile. "I know you can't. That's what I'm here for. To help you through it all."

Brooke tried to smile, but couldn't muster it up. "I'm trying Lucas. I am, but I can barely function. Bare with me."

"I know Brooke. I know." He took her by her arm and led her out the door. He nodded to the doctor as he sat her into the awaiting wheelchair before wheeling her out to his car. He helped her into the car before hurrying around and getting in himself.

"Luke, thank you." She faced forward as she spoke, afraid to look at him. "I'll pay you back one day. I will...Just not right now. I have no money...Or a job."

"Brooke I don't expect you to pay me back. This isn't what this is all about?" Lucas glanced at her. "I told you once back in senior year that I would rescue you and I meant it Brooke. I will be there for you always. Whenever you need me."

"I don't understand that." Tears filled her eyes, threatening to spill down her cheeks. "Why Lucas?" She finally turned to him, curling her feet underneath her. "Knowing what you know, how can you still care?"

Lucas shook his head and let out a sigh. "Why? I love you Brooke. How many times do I have to say that?"

Brooke shrugged. "But I don't understand. I know that you love me, but why does that mean that you want to help me? It's not like you want to be with me. It would be different then, I would understand that..."

"Says who?"

"Says who about what?" Brooke laid her head back as she began to shake harder. It was getting harder for her to focus on the conversation. Her mind kept turning back to the drugs as she tried to fight the urge to try and get more.

"Who says that I don't want to be with you?"

This caused Brooke's eyes to pop open and seek out his. "What are you talking about?"

He kept the eye contact for just a moment before he turned his attention back to the road. "I know that we've tried more than once, but we continue to be drawn back together. That means something. I'd love to give us another chance...once you get clean."

"But we don't know how long this is going to take. And then it's going to be an uphill fight from there Lucas. You don't want to get involved with me."

Lucas nodded. "I know what it's going to be like. I've been doing my research from the minute that I realized that I'd have to take you to rehab. I want to be there for you Brooke." He slowed the car as he entered the parking lot for the rehab center. "I want to help you through this and then when you're ready I'd like to try again."

Tears began running down her cheeks as she watched him get out of the car, walking around the car and opening her door. He reached in, taking her hand and helping her from the car. He wrapped her in his arms and held her close. "Luke, I love you too." She leaned back so that she could look up into his face. "I appreciate everything that you've done for me and I want us to have another chance too."

Lucas smiled before leaning down and kissing her lightly. "We'll get our chance and we'll make it work this time." With that he turned around and led her into the building, where she knew that she would work to sober up. Now she had something to live for.


End file.
